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Outrage!!!
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Wednesday, 9 February 2005
Liberal Treason
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
Folks, I want you to recognize the troubles I go through for you. You may recall that a couple weeks ago I posted that awesome picture of Assama's head on a spike being held by my man, W. I took a lot of flack, and got flooded with hate mail, including one from Hollyweird liberals Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. It's okay, I can take it since I'm working for the greater good.

What I cannot take, however, is someone making light of executing the leaders of the last remaining superpower on Earth! This is something I'd expect from Al Jazeera or Al Queda, but you know who won't stand for it? Al Candra, that's who. And I'm sure the United Outraged American Families for Decency will chime in on this as well.

Posted by Al at 8:33 AM EST
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Monday, 7 February 2005
Super Bowl Outrage!!!
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
When will the Super Bowl become a family event again. So many outrages, I think I lost count! Here are a few big ones:
1. The GoDaddy ad mocked the values and decency we stand for.
2. The Diet Pepsi ad with the "Queer Guy".
3. Paul McCartney (he's not American) singing about a guy who "Bought some California grass"
4. One of the Patriots (number 21) had "Gay" printed on his back

Leave your comments, let me know what I missed.

Posted by Al at 9:38 AM EST
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Friday, 4 February 2005
Open Letter to the President
Mood:  sad
President Bush,
I want to start this by saying I am one of your biggest supporters, and if I could have voted for you more than once, I would have. I attended rallies, put up dozens, if not hundreds of signs in your support. You're down-to-earth messages resonate deep within my soul, and give me American pride and a love for freedom that cannot be imagined.

That being said, I need to ask why you cannot get a handle on those girls of yours.

With all due respect, I cut off all ties with my both my daughter and eldest son for far milder embarrassments than those twins cause. Please, for the sake of the country, get these girls in line. Other than that, keep other the brilliant work.

With Sincerest Awe, Reverence and American Pride,
Al Candra

President and Founder- United Outraged American Families for Decency

Posted by Al at 10:53 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 4 February 2005 11:53 AM EST
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Thursday, 3 February 2005
Post State of the Union Thoughts
Mood:  celebratory
That had to be the single greatest State of the Union address in decades! How can anyone argue against lower taxes for everybody? W nailed it, all the way home! Watch out, liberals, you're on the verge of extinction.

In closing, a quote:
"Jobs are created when the economy grows; the economy grows when Americans have more money to spend and invest; and the best and fairest way to make sure Americans have that money is not to tax it away in the first place." -W

Posted by Al at 9:05 AM EST
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Wednesday, 2 February 2005
Tonight's the Big Night
Mood:  on fire
State of the Union, and my man W will rock the house! Get ready to reform socially security, and all you little whiny Dems better just fall in line, or move off to your own little island. I even thought of a name for it you'd probably like. Sodomia.

Posted by Al at 2:11 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 2 February 2005 2:34 PM EST
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Tuesday, 1 February 2005
Alberto Gonzales
Mood:  not sure
This is tough for me to put out here, but I cannot support the nomination of Alberto Gonzales for Attorney General. The thing is, I like tough looking Attorney Generals (Ashcroft, Reno). Although Alberto talks a pretty tough game sometime, he just looks like he should be fixing the President's drinks, or perhaps clearing the dinner table. Maybe its just that there's a waiter at the cantina up the street that looks just like him, but I don't know. Let's hear your thoughts.

Posted by Al at 3:36 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 1 February 2005 5:40 PM EST
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Star Wars: Ultimate Religious Story
Mood:  spacey
I was watching Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (The first Star Wars, Darth Vader et al) this weekend and it finally really hit me. The whole story is about the power of religion and faith! Think about it, just replace "the Force" with "the Lord" and the whole story is a Christian epic. I guess for best effect you replace "the dark side of the force" with "Satan", but ou get the idea. Even at the end, when they are in the attack on the Death Star, Luke Skywalker turns off his sophistcated computer targeting system, and puts his faith in the Force (Lord), and is victorious! Awesome!

Posted by Al at 10:19 AM EST
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Iraq Elections, Revisited
Mood:  a-ok
OK, the elections in Iraq took place, and far less people died than expected, so it can be called a success, unless they voted in a dictator worse than Sadaam, which would mean back to square one, except worse. I'm disappointed that the Iraqis didn't have a choice to be annexed as a state of the US, but there's always next time. I'd almost take it a little further and allow any country that has something to bring to the table an opportunity to become a United State. We'd of course have to have a committee evaluate the country first to see if we really want them, but then they have the choice to become a state, and then we send over the English teachers and Americanizers.

Posted by Al at 9:14 AM EST
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Friday, 28 January 2005
The Iraq Elections
Mood:  a-ok
I don't know if anyone has brought this up before, but in the Iraq elections, is George W. Bush going to be on the ballot? If not, is there a write-in, or maybe a check box for "American Rule". It's been over 50 years sine we've added a new state, so how about it? Here's what I'm thinking:
1. Cheaper gas and oil
2. Less anti-American sentiment, since they'd actually be Americans
3. It would show the world that everyone wants to be American.

I'm not saying that it would be a cakewalk from there, since we'd have to teach them all English, but it would be a great start.

Posted by Al at 3:34 PM EST
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Preach on, Brother James
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
I took a lot of flack for "outing" cartoon characters a couple of weeks ago, but Here you go. There is a gay conspiracy, they are after our children, and nobody can argue otherwise!

Posted by Al at 2:39 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 28 January 2005 2:40 PM EST
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A Halloween Story
Mood:  a-ok
I want to share this with you all now, because its a hilarious story, and I'd probably forget all about it by Halloween.

When I was young and before I got started in the private sector, I was a fifth grade teacher. For those of you who can't recall, fifth grade is the school year that typically lets the kids do more "grown up" kinds of things. They change clasrooms, change clothes for gym, and they do NOT dress up for Halloween in school. Anyway, this one boy- let's call him Mark- heckles me starting October 1 "Mr. Candra, let's have a Halloween party! Mr. Candra, please let us dress up!" Blah Blah Blah.

A little extra background on Mark. Mark was one of the dumbest kids in the class, possibly one of the dumbest students I had in the 2 1/2 years I taught elementary, God bless him. He'd believe almost anything he was told. The kids actually got him to drink toilet water once because they told him he'd turn invisible, and he believed it when they all went "Hey, where'd Mark go". But I digress.

I was having a bad day, and Mark starts up on this Halloween costume thing. So, I send him off on a quick errand to get some tissues from the nurse. While he's gone, I tell all the other students that we're not dressing up for Halloween, but don't tell Mark.

When Mark returned, I took him outside to talk to him in private, and told him we had a class vote, and we would dress up for Halloween on Friday, but the only costume choices were babies or clowns, and you couldn't tell anyone what you were going to dress as. Mark's face lit up, and I knew I had him.

When Friday came around, Mark came to school in one of those one piece pajama sets with the feet. When the other kids saw him, they couldn't stop laughing. Realizing what happened, Mark started to well up a little bit, and this other kid goes, "What's the matter Mark, do you need a bottle, or did you make a stinky?" We called hime "Baby Mark" for the rest of the year. It was the funniest thing ever, and Mark learned a valuable life lesson.

Posted by Al at 9:41 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 28 January 2005 10:29 AM EST
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Thursday, 27 January 2005
Funniest Site Ever!!!
Mood:  silly
Thanks to Steve Wait till you guys see this one. Totally hilarious stuff! A little racier than my usual fare, but considering who it deals with, it's a must see!

Posted by Al at 8:10 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, 27 January 2005 8:11 PM EST
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Rules of the Blog
Topic: Blog Rules
Yesterday, I actually had to delete some comments from a participant, and almost banished him from posting here anymore. Then I realized, I had never really posted any blog rules. So, here goes:

Rule #1: Censor yourself if you must curse. Typically, you'll notice on my posts will have a word with a dash in the middle. These words suggest a bad word without being the bad word. Also, you'll notice that the only time I'm using foul language at all is when I'm quoting someone else.

Rule #2: Avoid threats whenever possible. I give a little more leeway on this one, because threats can be interpreted in different ways.

If we all stick to these rules, it will help contribute to the flow of dialogue.

Thanks,
Al

Posted by Al at 8:46 AM EST
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Wednesday, 26 January 2005
Let's All Calm Down Now...
There's a lot of people (a loud few anyway) getting upset over some come comments recently made on this blog regarding gay people, so I guess I better clarify.

I have nothing against gays. The thing is, I feel it's a bad habit, like picking your nose. Nobody feels bad about making fun of a guy who picks his nose, so what's the difference if you make fun of a guy who likes other guys.

I hope this makes everything clear, and helps reduce any hard feelings.

Thanks,
Al

Posted by Al at 2:48 PM EST
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Tuesday, 25 January 2005
Osama bin Gay-Married
Mood:  a-ok

This is the funniest thing ever! Herb, you rule!

Posted by Al at 3:19 PM EST
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Awesome picture
Mood:  a-ok


I hope we shall soon see this day. Thanks to Herb for sending this in.

Posted by Al at 9:20 AM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 25 January 2005 9:22 AM EST
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Are We There Yet?
Mood:  loud
I'm going to put an article about this on the Page of Outrage when I have time, but I've been busy swatting flies over the last couple of days. Does anyone else have an issue with Ice Cube being in this family film "Are We There Yet?". I just found out this weekend that Ice Cube used to be in a rap band called NWA, which stood for N-ggers With Attitude, and wrote rap songs like F--k the Police? Shouldn't our families be concerned? Where is the outrage?!

Posted by Al at 8:37 AM EST
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Monday, 24 January 2005
What's the Deal with these Liberals?
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
I'm starting this out with a pseudo-quote from Jerry Seinfeld, for two reasons:
1. I really do want to know what the deal is with these liberals.
2. It's paraphrasing Jerry Seinfeld, who I find very funny, even though his religious views are likely different from mine, thus further demonstrating my tolerance of most people.

I visited a blog of a liberal this week, and posted a response which was intended to help him see what real Americans think. Instead recognizing my point of view, the blogger decided this was some way of soapboxing about how he feels about people who care about American values and decency, and then took it further with some mock conversations. Well Mr. Liberal, here's the shoe on the other foot.

American: Social Security is in Crisis.
Liberal: No it's not, and I want to get gay-married!

American: George Bush stands for American values, and will help spread freedom throughout the world.
Liberal: George Bush does not support my right to gay marriage and abortion, so I'd rather support a candidate who endagered the lives of numerous Vietnam veterans.

And so it goes. I guess the poet Robert Frost said it best. "Good fences make good neighbors".

Posted by Al at 10:09 AM EST
Updated: Monday, 24 January 2005 11:18 AM EST
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Thursday, 20 January 2005
The Inauguration
Mood:  happy
What an awesome day! I just welled up with pride, not just knowing that W won, but knowing that the great and decent people of this country made him win. Decency overpowered the America-hating liberal elites. Christianity overcame the sodomites. Four more years!

Posted by Al at 3:12 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, 20 January 2005 3:13 PM EST
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Thursday, 13 January 2005
Randy Moss
Mood:  cool
You'll probably be surprised to hear this, but I don't get what the big deal is about Randy Moss prentending to moon the Green Bay Packers last week. The key word here is "pretending". Let's get a slight grip here, people. I actually found it kind of funny. Let's think about it this way:

1. Showing your buttocks, in the relative scheme of things, is fairly low on the list. Pretending to show one's buttocks is not even on the list.

2. I would have found it very offensive, on the other hand if he had pretended to sodomize Brett Farve, although in a metaphorical sense he did do hat.

Posted by Al at 8:39 AM EST
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