Madagascar and Subliminal Racism
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
I went to see Madagascar this weekend with my family to have a little wholesome family fun. The movie seems okay, nothing great, but okay, yet the whole time, something seemed not quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but I just felt uneasy.

Later in the day, it started to come together. This movie is racist. Not in the typical "black are weak" or "Jews are greedy" way, but in a much more sinister fashion. Consider these points:

1. Chris Rock plays a zebra, an animal that is part black, part white in Central Park zoo. He adds a bunch of "izzles" to his lines, just to show you how hip and urban (read black) he is. What is his main ambition in this film? TO GO BACK TO AFRICA!!!!

2. Who plants this idea into his head? The penguins. Penguins are blacker than zebras, about 75% of a penguin is black, as zebras are basically 50/50. The penguins are depicted as a violent, sociopathic bunch, just adding to more racial stereotyping.

After a series of events, the zebra, his Jewish lion and Giraffe friends, played by Ben Stiller and David Schwimmer, respectively, end up in Madagascar along with Jada Pinkett Smith, who plays a hippo (a gray animal, again a combination of black and white).

In Madagascar they help a tribe of lemurs (part of the monkey family) overcome oppression so they can sing and dance hip-hop all day. The lemurs are voiced by Cedric the Entertainer, and Ali-G!!!

So in a nutshell, here is the subliminal racist message of the movie. Blacks should go back to Africa for multiple reasons, inlcuding to help their monkey breathren.

Please keep in mind, I am only pointing out these facts as facts, I do not agree with any of the viewpoints which these sinister cartoonists have depicted in this film. Please direct your outrage at the cartoonists, not me.

Thanks,
Al

Sinister Gay Conspiracies on Our Youth
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
If you don't belive me, check it out.

Lay off DeLay
Mood:  irritated
Dedicated readers,
I'm not usually one to advocate violence, unless it involves supporting our troops, but if you hear anyone making personal attacks against Tom DeLay, I want you to smack them in the back of the head. DeLay is a good and decent man who supports the culture of life. To support that culture costs money, and to that end, Mr. DeLay has done what he has to do. Besides, what he did with Indian Gaming is brilliant:
1. He took money from the Indian Gaming community, thus reducing their overall profit
2. He used that money to prevent other Indian Gaming establishments from developing

In other words, he's sort of bringing down Indian Gaming from the inside, and if you can't see that, you're obviously just blinded by partisanship.

Pope Adolf?
Mood:  not sure
I'm not so sure that going with a former Hitler Youth for Pope is exactly the best PR for Catholics. I still think James Dobson would have made a great new Pope for the 21st century. I'm not Catholic anyway, so no big deal, I guess.

Awesome song, awesome video
Mood:  a-ok
Simply beautiful. If you do not like this song/video, you are should just go join the Taliban and get gay-married.

American Pope
Mood:  a-ok
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I've been trying to put together a good list of names for American candidates for the Papalcy. So far, I've got Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Dr. James Dobson. All three of these men would be ideal candidates, except that they are not actually Catholic. They are all married, too, which would be normal for guys their age, but is typically frowned upon when running for pope. Perhaps if they let their priests/bishops/cardinals/etc get married, they wouldn't have to worry nearly as much about them becoming sexual deviants, but I digress. Please let me know of any other names of people you feel would be good as an American pope.

Thanks,
Al

Hiatus Over
Mood:  a-ok
It's high time to return to the blog. So much has happened in this short timeframe- the shameful Hollywood liberals at the Oscars, the Culture of Life suffering its setbacks with Terri, and so many other outrages.

This post, however is about doing something positive, and making a good thing happen from a bad thing. Pope John Paul II, a great man, passed away this week, and with his passing, I'd love to see the Vaticain consider an American Pope. It would show some real progress, and there are so many viable American candidates for the position.

Personally, I'm not a Catholic but I know many who feel an American Pope would be a brilliant idea for world peace. Catholic readers, do what you have to to make this happen.
Thanks, and God bless,
Al

Candragate
Mood:  blue
With a heavy heart, I've decided that my reporting of the Al Franken candidacy was irresponsible, and I should take a break from blogging for a while. America Strikes Back-The Blog is on indefinite hiatus. Thanks for your loyal support.

Al Candra
President and Founder
United Outraged American Families for Decency

Al Candra- Putting the "Al" in "Values"

The Problem with Getting a Scoop
Mood:  d'oh
The link in the previous post originally said Al Franken was considering becoming a candidte for Minnseota US Senator. The headline has changed since, and he's not. I feel like Dan Rather, except not liberal, and I provide more hard-edged news.

Smalley for Senate
Mood:  happy
Nominate him you stupid, stupid liberal fools! I double-dog-dare you. That's just what we need on C-Span. He's good enough, smart enough, and you liberals don't get enough abuse for stupid things as it is.

Liberal Treason
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
Folks, I want you to recognize the troubles I go through for you. You may recall that a couple weeks ago I posted that awesome picture of Assama's head on a spike being held by my man, W. I took a lot of flack, and got flooded with hate mail, including one from Hollyweird liberals Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. It's okay, I can take it since I'm working for the greater good.

What I cannot take, however, is someone making light of executing the leaders of the last remaining superpower on Earth! This is something I'd expect from Al Jazeera or Al Queda, but you know who won't stand for it? Al Candra, that's who. And I'm sure the United Outraged American Families for Decency will chime in on this as well.

Super Bowl Outrage!!!
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
When will the Super Bowl become a family event again. So many outrages, I think I lost count! Here are a few big ones:
1. The GoDaddy ad mocked the values and decency we stand for.
2. The Diet Pepsi ad with the "Queer Guy".
3. Paul McCartney (he's not American) singing about a guy who "Bought some California grass"
4. One of the Patriots (number 21) had "Gay" printed on his back

Leave your comments, let me know what I missed.

Open Letter to the President
Mood:  sad
President Bush,
I want to start this by saying I am one of your biggest supporters, and if I could have voted for you more than once, I would have. I attended rallies, put up dozens, if not hundreds of signs in your support. You're down-to-earth messages resonate deep within my soul, and give me American pride and a love for freedom that cannot be imagined.

That being said, I need to ask why you cannot get a handle on those girls of yours.

With all due respect, I cut off all ties with my both my daughter and eldest son for far milder embarrassments than those twins cause. Please, for the sake of the country, get these girls in line. Other than that, keep other the brilliant work.

With Sincerest Awe, Reverence and American Pride,
Al Candra

President and Founder- United Outraged American Families for Decency

Post State of the Union Thoughts
Mood:  celebratory
That had to be the single greatest State of the Union address in decades! How can anyone argue against lower taxes for everybody? W nailed it, all the way home! Watch out, liberals, you're on the verge of extinction.

In closing, a quote:
"Jobs are created when the economy grows; the economy grows when Americans have more money to spend and invest; and the best and fairest way to make sure Americans have that money is not to tax it away in the first place." -W

Tonight's the Big Night
Mood:  on fire
State of the Union, and my man W will rock the house! Get ready to reform socially security, and all you little whiny Dems better just fall in line, or move off to your own little island. I even thought of a name for it you'd probably like. Sodomia.

Alberto Gonzales
Mood:  not sure
This is tough for me to put out here, but I cannot support the nomination of Alberto Gonzales for Attorney General. The thing is, I like tough looking Attorney Generals (Ashcroft, Reno). Although Alberto talks a pretty tough game sometime, he just looks like he should be fixing the President's drinks, or perhaps clearing the dinner table. Maybe its just that there's a waiter at the cantina up the street that looks just like him, but I don't know. Let's hear your thoughts.

Star Wars: Ultimate Religious Story
Mood:  spacey
I was watching Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (The first Star Wars, Darth Vader et al) this weekend and it finally really hit me. The whole story is about the power of religion and faith! Think about it, just replace "the Force" with "the Lord" and the whole story is a Christian epic. I guess for best effect you replace "the dark side of the force" with "Satan", but ou get the idea. Even at the end, when they are in the attack on the Death Star, Luke Skywalker turns off his sophistcated computer targeting system, and puts his faith in the Force (Lord), and is victorious! Awesome!

Iraq Elections, Revisited
Mood:  a-ok
OK, the elections in Iraq took place, and far less people died than expected, so it can be called a success, unless they voted in a dictator worse than Sadaam, which would mean back to square one, except worse. I'm disappointed that the Iraqis didn't have a choice to be annexed as a state of the US, but there's always next time. I'd almost take it a little further and allow any country that has something to bring to the table an opportunity to become a United State. We'd of course have to have a committee evaluate the country first to see if we really want them, but then they have the choice to become a state, and then we send over the English teachers and Americanizers.

The Iraq Elections
Mood:  a-ok
I don't know if anyone has brought this up before, but in the Iraq elections, is George W. Bush going to be on the ballot? If not, is there a write-in, or maybe a check box for "American Rule". It's been over 50 years sine we've added a new state, so how about it? Here's what I'm thinking:
1. Cheaper gas and oil
2. Less anti-American sentiment, since they'd actually be Americans
3. It would show the world that everyone wants to be American.

I'm not saying that it would be a cakewalk from there, since we'd have to teach them all English, but it would be a great start.

Preach on, Brother James
Mood:  loud
Topic: Outrage!!!
I took a lot of flack for "outing" cartoon characters a couple of weeks ago, but Here you go. There is a gay conspiracy, they are after our children, and nobody can argue otherwise!