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Friday, 28 January 2005
A Halloween Story
Mood:  a-ok
I want to share this with you all now, because its a hilarious story, and I'd probably forget all about it by Halloween.

When I was young and before I got started in the private sector, I was a fifth grade teacher. For those of you who can't recall, fifth grade is the school year that typically lets the kids do more "grown up" kinds of things. They change clasrooms, change clothes for gym, and they do NOT dress up for Halloween in school. Anyway, this one boy- let's call him Mark- heckles me starting October 1 "Mr. Candra, let's have a Halloween party! Mr. Candra, please let us dress up!" Blah Blah Blah.

A little extra background on Mark. Mark was one of the dumbest kids in the class, possibly one of the dumbest students I had in the 2 1/2 years I taught elementary, God bless him. He'd believe almost anything he was told. The kids actually got him to drink toilet water once because they told him he'd turn invisible, and he believed it when they all went "Hey, where'd Mark go". But I digress.

I was having a bad day, and Mark starts up on this Halloween costume thing. So, I send him off on a quick errand to get some tissues from the nurse. While he's gone, I tell all the other students that we're not dressing up for Halloween, but don't tell Mark.

When Mark returned, I took him outside to talk to him in private, and told him we had a class vote, and we would dress up for Halloween on Friday, but the only costume choices were babies or clowns, and you couldn't tell anyone what you were going to dress as. Mark's face lit up, and I knew I had him.

When Friday came around, Mark came to school in one of those one piece pajama sets with the feet. When the other kids saw him, they couldn't stop laughing. Realizing what happened, Mark started to well up a little bit, and this other kid goes, "What's the matter Mark, do you need a bottle, or did you make a stinky?" We called hime "Baby Mark" for the rest of the year. It was the funniest thing ever, and Mark learned a valuable life lesson.

Posted by Al at 9:41 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 28 January 2005 10:29 AM EST
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Friday, 28 January 2005 - 1:57 PM EST

Name: Jeff Artura

I pray that you don't have any children.

Friday, 28 January 2005 - 4:09 PM EST

Name: Pete G.

Oh, Jesus -- it's THIS guy again. Mr. First Amendment.

Hey Jeff, have you been neutered? If not, why don't you come over here and get a kick in the balls.

Friday, 28 January 2005 - 4:39 PM EST

Name: Al

A little risque again, Pete, but I'll allow it. Hey Jeff, send us your picture and I'll get it put on Steve's Jimmy-Kick site! HA!

Friday, 28 January 2005 - 4:57 PM EST

Name: Pete G.

Yeah, kick his balls! Kick 'em!

Friday, 28 January 2005 - 5:06 PM EST

Name: Al

That reminds me, that same kid, Mark, ended up kicking the other kid (I can't remember his name, but it was the one with the "stinky" comment) square on in the groin. A total running across the room, lift stinky two feet in the air kick. I took me five minutes to stop laughing before I could pull Mark off from beating his face in.

Friday, 28 January 2005 - 11:46 PM EST

Name: Harry Fukenbone

Al you have shown us a dark cruel side of yourself. I have been reading your blog on our church computer and I am enraged at your proud rendition of your awful behavior.

I was tortured endlessly during my years in the public school and bear those scars to this day. I came across this site while searching for sites aimed at restoring morality and values to our sad, diseased country.

What values do you stand for al.

yours truly,

Harry Fukenbone

Saturday, 29 January 2005 - 4:00 PM EST

Name: Peter G.

Ha! That's your name, Harry Fukenbone?! You frickin' dork!

F-k you, Fukenbone!!!

Monday, 31 January 2005 - 1:57 PM EST

Name: Al

See, that's the problem nowadays. People are too concerned with a child's self-esteem when it comes to discipline, not to mention humor. Nowadays, you can't even call a kid stupid without facing repercussions from the lefties, even if the kid is as dumb as a box of rocks.

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